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THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (Rated R) - A political and psychological thriller, rife with paranoia and cynicism, is the basic premise for the updated version of “The Manchurian Candidate.” This contemporary take on political machinations shifts from a Communist conspiracy to a faceless corporate takeover, with the backdrop changing from the Korean conflict to the Gulf War.

There are enough conspiracy theory elements pointing to greedy multinational corporate power plays that it may prove surprising that Michael Moore is not in the credits. Directed by John Frankenheimer, the original 1962 film, a mesmerizing story of mind control and abuse of power, starred interesting actors Frank Sinatra and Angela Lansbury. In its present form, “The Manchurian Candidate,” no longer a Cold War thriller, effectively substitutes Denzel Washington and Meryl Streep. In the role of a manipulative U.S. senator, Streep bears an uncanny physical resemblance to New York senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, and this alone is an amusing situation.

The story begins with a flashback to the Gulf War in 1991, when Army Captain Bennett Marco (Denzel Washington) and Sergeant Raymond Shaw (Live Schreiber), along with their platoon, get ambushed on the Kuwait “Highway of Death.” Scrambling for cover, Marco is knocked unconscious. When the American soldiers are saved, Shaw is awarded the Medal of Honor for bravery in fighting off the attackers. Jumping to the present, Marco, promoted to the rank of Major, is on the lecture circuit recounting past glories, but he is troubled by nightmares that suggest odd things happened in Kuwait. Then he runs into a former platoon member (Jeffrey Wright) who describes the same type of strange dreams.

While not anxious to doubt his sanity, Marco becomes more obsessed about the career of Shaw, now a New York congressman on the verge of greater political glory. Shaw’s meteoric rise in politics is being pushed by his overbearing mother, Senator Ellie Shaw (Meryl Streep), eager to dump another Senator (Jon Voight) from the presidential ticket. Ellie maneuvers for party operatives to select her son Raymond, a vibrant war hero, as the vice presidential nominee at the party convention. Meanwhile, Marco starts hallucinating more, even after he becomes smitten with a pretty clerk (Kimberly Elise) he meets on a train. When gathering information suggests that the squad of Army soldiers may have been hypnotized into believing that Shaw deserved the Medal of Honor, Marco becomes more insistent about confronting Shaw over recollections of the Gulf War.

The controlling Ellie intervenes to protect Shaw from the pestering Marco. In fact she wants to keep the vice presidential candidate in a controlled environment away from the public and any inquiring minds. She’s much more eager for her son to become acquainted with the big wigs from Manchurian Global, a multinational corporate entity with a vast reach into the public purse. In the first film, “Manchurian” referred to a region of Communist China, and now it is revealed to have big business conspiratorial connections.

The conspiratorial maze meanders through some critical scenes that take place at the party convention and on Election Day. Though the conspiracy elements border essentially on rampant paranoia, the layers of complexity to the plot prove arresting and spellbinding. “The Manchurian Candidate,” churning the suspense with great efficacy, is a satisfying thriller because Streep, Washington and Schreiber radiate a magnetic intensity.

HAROLD & KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE (Rated R) - As the gross-out youth comedy goes, “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle” is just one more reason for snobby critics to become apoplectic about the current state of cinema. This road comedy about two stoner buddies is a contemporary version of Cheech and Chong obsessed with burgers and cannabis. As such, it is almost appalling to anyone with high brow taste, and this in turn means only one thing: hilarity in the extreme. Not intended for the sensitive with good taste and manners, “Harold & Kumar” is an intensely funny odyssey through the perils of young adulthood when common sense and rationality are tossed out the window of a fast moving car.

Harold Lee (John Cho), a socially reserved Korean-

American accountant, and Kumar Patel (Kal Penn), an Indian-American slacker, are roommates obsessed with unwinding with a bag of weed on the weekend. Late on a Friday, Harold is pestered by his preppy superior (Ethan Embry) to take on an onerous assignment. The shy Harold lacks the backbone to resist the intrusion. His buddy Kumar looks at things from another angle, as he feigns interest in medical school only to convince his father to keep paying the rent. Kumar’s apathy is clearly on display when he hilariously sabotages an interview with Fred Willard’s incredulous medical school dean.

Spending a Friday night in front of the TV to smoke marijuana, Harold and Kumar develop a bad case of the munchies when they see a commercial for White Castle and its mini-burgers that are known as sliders. After failing to convince their weird Jewish stoner neighbors (Eddie Kaye Thomas and David Krumholtz) to join their late night quest, Harold and Kumar set out on a journey through the exotic countryside of New Jersey. The Garden State has never looked so strange, even if a side trip to Princeton is not that unusual. A visit to the Ivy League college brings them a step closer to a large score of weed and the possibility of seducing two co-eds who take toilet humor to a new level with an unexpected flatulence contest. Moreover, Harold and Kumar discover that the image of Asian students as nerdy bookworms is seriously upended at a raucous frat party.

The quest for White Castle neither begins nor ends in Princeton, as the stoners discover the ubiquitous franchise harder to locate than expected. The midnight journey through suburbia brings startling encounters with all sorts of hazards, whether a bunch of racist skateboarding punks or corrupt cops only too eager to turn minor infractions into serious crimes. After their car breaks down, the boys are rescued by a scary-looking tow truck driver called Freakshow (Christopher Meloni), his face and body hideously covered in oozing boils, who invites them to engage in group sex with his seductively pretty blond wife. While being attacked by a rabid raccoon is pretty strange, nothing is weirder than a hitchhiker who looks like a celebrity insisting on a ride. In fact, the hitchhiker is former “Doogie Howser” star Neil Patrick Harris, appearing as himself on drug-fueled sex binge. The oversexed celebrity persists in imploring Harold and Kumar to find willing young co-eds, and when he becomes impatient he steals their car.

A wild night in the countryside is certain to end up with the incarceration of at least one party. This mishap is just one small bump in the road for the two stoners, who are soon enough hang-gliding by daybreak to a White Castle conveniently located at the bottom of a huge cliff. That “Harold & Kumar” lacks little surprise in the way it unfolds at the end is to be expected. Aside from its goofy energy and outrageous antics, “Harold & Kumar” delivers the goods, even when damaged, for plenty of out-loud laughs. The real surprise of this film is that John Cho and Kal Penn work effectively against the stereotypes to prove Asian actors capable as any to come through with an abundance of comic ability. You don’t have to be a stoner or a teen to find the big laughs in this extreme comedy.

I, ROBOT (Rated PG-13) - Visionary author Isaac Asimov developed a science fiction lineage in a string of robot stories centered around the Three Laws of Robotics. They go something like this: a robot may not injure a human or allow harm to a human; a robot must obey orders given by humans that don’t conflict with the first law; and a robot may not run for political office. Okay, I am not sure about that last one, as I failed to take copious notes in the darkened theater. Anyway, the obvious point is that the puzzle in the plot is the how and why of these laws malfunctioning. “I, Robot,” a science fiction thriller set in the near future of Chicago in 2035, seems vaguely derivative of other work in the genre, even though it is slick and snappy in its execution of robots gone wild.

Aside from officious and intrusive robot Sonny (voiced by Alan Tudyk), the real center of attention in “I, Robot” is Will Smith’s skeptical Chicago police detective Del Spooner. He carries a grudge, at least the size of one shoulder, against robots, which manifests itself in a sense of paranoia about the mechanized workers that appears irrational to his colleagues, friends and family. Robots are programmed to be docile servants. Early on, Spooner mistakes a helpful robot for a purse-snatcher. This, of course, is a great set-up for everyone thinking that Spooner is proverbially “crying wolf” when he suspects that Sonny, the latest model of the NS-5 domestic assistant robot, holds the key to a murder.

But first, Spooner must convince his dubious boss, John Bergin (Chi McBride), that an apparent suicide at the headquarters of U.S. Robotics is in fact a homicide. This task will be complicated by several factors. The victim is brilliant but reclusive scientist Dr. Alfred Lanning (James Cromwell), who has left behind a puzzling hologram as the main source of potential clues. The corporate head of U.S. Robotics is the cynical, sleazy Lawrence Robertson (Bruce Greenwood), willing to use his considerable political and economic clout to thwart any investigation by Spooner.

As the rebel on the police force, Spooner is undeterred by roadblocks put in his path. He is soon spending much time with robot psychologist Dr. Susan Calvin (Bridget Moynahan), who is only slightly more animated than her subjects. You will notice that at some point, when Dr. Calvin lets her hair down, both literally and figuratively, she becomes not only more human, but also more accepting of Spooner’s increasingly valid suspicions. Yet, Spooner is the lone voice of dissent when Robotics begins a massive rollout of the NS-5 line of “improved” robots. Even after a renegade bunch of robots viciously assault Spooner in an ambush staged in a high-speed tunnel chase, no one is wise to his plight.

“I, Robot,” in mechanized fashion, builds slowly to the inevitable showdown that causes robots to rampage through Chicago in a full-scale attack on their human masters. The concept of robot mayhem seems somewhat stiff and austere, and yet it generates a considerable amount of excitement for its video game execution. The chase sequences are terrific, the battles are exquisite and there are moments of real tension. “I, Robot” has the added benefit of some thoughtful probing of the dangers of technology run amok. Finally, “I, Robot” has a worthy hero in Will Smith’s Spooner, a man of action with plenty of witty quips and cynical thoughts.

A CINDERELLA STORY (Rated PG) - A formula teen girl comedy, “A Cinderella Story” holds little suspense when convention demands adherence to the basic happy ending. The fairy tale story this time ends up most improbably in the San Fernando Valley, where the girl with the glass slipper is an indentured servant in her wicked stepmother’s Fifties-style diner. That the winsome Hilary Duff, of “Lizzie McGuire” fame, is the putative princess is a sure sign that “A Cinderella Story” is a comedy geared to geared almost exclusively to the adolescent female crowd. That’s not necessarily a drawback, but it proves to be one when the film pales in comparison to something like “Mean Girls.”

Hilary Duff’s Sam Montgomery finds her idyllic suburban life disrupted soon after her widowed father remarries and then dies in the Northridge earthquake. Stepmom Fiona (Jennifer Coolidge) is a horrid caricature of a wicked schemer. Fiona takes over the diner that Sam’s father had lovingly turned into a neighborhood hangout, and forces Sam into performing the most menial tasks. Obnoxious in personality and frightful in looks for all the cosmetic surgery that she has endured, Fiona dotes on her equally spiteful twin daughters (Andrea Avery and Madeline Zima), who gleefully torment Sam with demands for doing their homework and taking the blame for any mishaps.

Around campus, Sam is snidely referred to as “Diner Girl” by the usual mean girls, including snooty ringleader Shelby (Julie Gonzalo) who dates the school’s quarterback. Sam hangs out with many of the geeks, especially Carter (Dan Byrd), an aspiring thespian who loves the theatrical flourish of dressing in costumes. Hoping to escape her wicked stepmother, the bright, studious Sam has her sights set on going to Princeton.

To that end, she becomes engaged in a chat room flirtation with another student who goes by the name of Nomad. Exhibiting none of the macho pretensions of a football star, Nomad harbors a sensitive soul that he wishes to conceal from his classmates. The problem is that Nomad is in reality Austin Ames (Chad Michael Murray), the big man on campus at Sam’s school. He’s the star quarterback in line for a scholarship to USC, even though he really wants to chuck sports for the academic rigors of an Ivy League school.

Naturally, Austin has no idea that his web page pen pal is Sam, and so he invites her to make an appearance at the Halloween Dance at an appointed hour. Sam is inspired by diner manager Rhonda (Regina King) to wear an unused wedding dress to the dance, thus looking much like Cinderella, while Austin’s Prince Charming turns out in a Three Musketeers costume. For a bit of mystery, Sam wears a mask, and Austin is unable to figure out her identity. You have to wonder if Austin is too dense for Princeton, but then this allows for the inevitable denouement of a formulaic happy ending plot. To the delight of Hilary Duff fans, the heroine gets to overcome all obstacles and the evil stepmother and stepsisters get their justly deserved comeuppance.

“A Cinderella Story” should be pleasing enough to those (most likely young girls) that find Hilary Duff an enjoyable screen presence.

ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY (Rated PG-13) - The male-dominated world of the TV broadcast newsroom of the 1970s, along with the extreme chauvinism and fashion styles of that era, is ripe for satire when it falls into capable hands. “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” is the delightfully hilarious result of a collaboration in the screenplay by comedian Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, a former head writer for “Saturday Night Live.” Satire works best when there is an element of truth to the outrageous antics, and “Anchorman” captures the silliness of the vacuous disco age culture.

Will Ferrell’s newscaster Ron Burgundy is a shallow anchorman on the most popular San Diego news show in the early 1970s. With perfect hair and a Burt Reynolds mustache, Burgundy’s sartorial sense reflects the color of that period. Ron thinks of himself as debonair with the ladies and a sharp mind in the newsroom. He proves to be neither. But that doesn’t stop him from looking like the fool in any number of situations. His professional talent is that he reads the teleprompter verbatim, not knowing how to correct any obvious errors.

Burgundy heads up an all-male news team that includes goofy sportscaster Champ Kind (David Koechner), slick field reporter Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), and weatherman Brick Tamland (Steve Carell), a dimwit with an IQ well below room temperature. This team does not react well to an edict from station manager Ed Harken (Fred Willard) to create “diversity.” Heck, these guys don’t know the meaning of the word, and are thus shocked to find their world infiltrated by female news reporter Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate). Not content with covering cat fashion shows and other frivolous events, Veronica starts bucking for a slot as a co-anchor, but first she has to fend off the awkward advances from all her male colleagues.

She eventually succumbs to the charms of the legendary Ron Burgundy, which proves inevitable when he displays a talent for the jazz flute. Even though he’s an unyielding chauvinist, Ron has a likeable quality that makes an ill-conceived romance with Veronica possible. Love alone is not enough to stop ambition, as Veronica ably demonstrates when she gets an unforeseen chance to takeover the evening news anchor slot.

“Anchorman” is a flat-out hilarious romp through the silly machinations of cutthroat journalism at its most inept. Possibly the funniest, if not most absurd, scene involves a street rumble between the various local news teams. Competing journalists include a surly Vince Vaughn, a frizzy-haired Tim Robbins as a PBS newsman, and an unhinged Ben Stiller spouting Spanish. Revel in the silliness of it all and tune in to “Anchorman” for great laughs.

KING ARTHUR (Rated PG-13) - The legend of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table gets a revisionist makeover in “King Arthur.” The setting is the 5th century Dark Ages, where life is nasty, brutish and short, especially for those living in the wasteland of a Britain that is a far-flung outpost of the Roman Empire. The bloodthirsty Saxons to the north are itching to take over the British Isles, while Merlin and his not-so-merry band of Woads hang out in the woods like medieval guerrilla fighters.

This being a Jerry Bruckheimer production, “King Arthur” is the kind of high-octane adventure full of bold strokes that one expects from the guy who delivered such fare as “Bad Boys” and “Pirates of the Caribbean.” Though not in the same exalted league as period pieces like “Gladiator” or “Braveheart,” the new twist of “King Arthur” still generates plenty of excitement with epic battle scenes. Great casting puts Arthur and his cohorts in capable hands. Clive Owen’s Arthur, motivated by duty and honor, has a resolute bearing. Arthur and his knights, including Lancelot (Ioan Gruffudd), Bors (Ray Winstone) and Gawain (Joel Edgerton), are in their final days of servitude to the Roman Empire when they are assigned to a suicidal mission. Rome has instructed them to go north of Hadrian’s Wall, deep into hostile Saxon territory, to rescue a family.

Having spent too much time in the wilderness, the Saxons are a moronic bunch of warriors under the command of conniving Cerdic (Stellan Skarsgard) and his volatile son Cynric (Til Schweiger). Arthur and Lancelot save Guinevere (Keira Knightley) from a dungeon, and she proves to be a fierce warrior and capable marksman with a bow and arrow. No damsel in distress, Guinevere is adept at manipulating Arthur to her cause. In the battle with the Saxons, Arthur gets unexpected help from the mysterious Merlin (Stephen Dillane), leader of fighters who reside in the woods and are trained to melt into the background.

Movies all too often take pains to deconstruct legends or to revise history. No one should take “King Arthur” seriously as any kind of history lesson. If you can’t take up some worthwhile books, the History Channel may prove a more reliable source than this Hollywood extravaganza. While historians debate the source of King Arthur’s legend, the rest of us can look to “King Arthur” as the kind of popcorn entertainment it is meant to be, knowing that Jerry Bruckheimer once again delivers the goods.

SLEEPOVER (Rated PG) - Move over, Lindsay Lohan, Mandy Moore and Hilary Duff. The teen comedy targeted to adolescent girls is looking for some new talent for the currently overworked genre. “Sleepover” features Alexa Vega, the lively kid who showed much promise in the “Spy Kids” franchise. Full of spunk and energy, Vega’s high-spirited character is a welcome addition to the ranks of teen queens. For all its earnest sensibility and promise, “Sleepover” manages to entertain the teen crowd, but is unlikely to cause anyone to forget “Mean Girls” or “13 Going on 30.”
Alexa Vega is very convincing as teenager Julie, a junior high student on the brink of greater maturity. As the title suggests,

“Sleepover” is an all-night event popular with young girls. Celebrating the last day of junior high, Julie invites her close chums for a house party. Hannah (Mika Boorem) is moving away to Canada. Farrah (Scout Taylor-Compton) enjoys experimenting with makeup, and chubby Yancy (Kallie Flynn Childress) is just happy to be invited somewhere. Eager to cast off their nerdy reputations, the girls agree to a challenge posed by the glamorous blonde campus queen Staci (Sara Paxton) and her posse of “popular” girls for an all-night scavenger hunt.

Julie’s mom (Jane Lynch) is out for the night with her pals at a nightclub, while dad (Jeff Garlin) is distracted with a home improvement project. This scenario enables the girls to sneak out for the night, borrowing an electric car to run around town in search of the campus stud’s boxer shorts, among other prize goodies. Naturally, the girls suffer some indignities from the mean girls, and further need to keep dodging an inept but overzealous security patrol officer (Steve Carell).

Formulaic and perhaps too corny for older teens, “Sleepover” still has an endearingly pleasing quality that seems more wholesome and innocent than many other comedies geared to the teen audience. What may be most appealing of all, aside from plenty of humorous moments, is that Alexa Vega and her friends are perfectly cast as real teenagers. There is no sense of artifice with these wonderful kids, and that makes “Sleepover” worthwhile.

“SPIDER-MAN 2” WEB OF THRILLS; “THE CLEARING” CHILLS
A Film Review by Tim Riley

SPIDER-MAN 2 (Rated PG-13) - Better character development ensures greater curiosity and more empathy with a superhero struggling with formidable villains as well as with his inner turmoil and conflicted emotions. As a result of this surefire formula for heightened interest, “Spider-Man 2,” a rare anomaly in the sequel business, is a vastly superior movie to the original. Brainy college student Peter Parker and his Spider-Man alter ego are full of self-doubts, providing insights into a superhero’s emotions that are hardly the staple of action films. To reassure the breathless anticipation of the popcorn-movie crowd, “Spider-Man 2” is packed with a delightful excess of thrills and action that explode with a cornucopia of terrific special effects.

Tobey Maguire, an unlikely candidate for a web-slinging hero, is once again the nerdy, awkward Peter Parker, who carries a heavy burden of serving as a crime fighter in New York. Peter’s inability to lead a reasonably normal life outside his Spidey costume is taking a heavy toll. Though a brilliant student, he fails to turn in homework and runs afoul of his demanding university professor (Dylan Baker). Unreliable as a delivery person, he gets fired from his job at a pizza joint. His relationships with friends and family are on shaky ground, all because he leads a double life of the heroic savior Spider-Man that can’t be revealed.

The love of his life remains Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst), but he is not a reliable presence in her life. With a budding acting career as a stage actress, Mary Jane is constantly disappointed that Peter fails to even show up to see a performance. Peter’s friend Harry Osborn (James Franco) remains bitter that Spider-Man killed his father, who had a secret life as the Green Goblin in the original movie. Peter seems unable to bring much joy to his beloved Aunt May (Rosemary Harris), now facing eviction from the modest family home in Queens and still saddened by the loss of her husband.

About the only reliable relationship Peter has with anyone is a dysfunctional one with the editor of the Daily Bugle, the amusingly gruff and decidedly blunt Jonah Jameson (J.K. Simmons). The steadfastly blustering tabloid chief is constantly wisecracking and spewing sarcastic remarks that supply most of the comic relief. When all else fails, Jonah finds Peter useful as a photographer only because he has a knack for capturing snapshots of Spider-Man. Unfortunately for Peter, Jonah’s son John (Daniel Gillies) has achieved fame as an astronaut and has set his sights on wooing Mary Jane, and she in turn seems receptive to attention from a dutiful suitor.

While Peter grapples with issues and conflicts involving friends and family, the pace of crime does not slow down, and in fact takes an upward spike when Peter sets aside his Spider-Man outfit after noticing his powers inexplicably diminishing.

The angst-ridden Spider-Man desperately longs for a semblance of normalcy, but soon enough he is challenged by greater events. Civilization hangs in the balance when brilliant scientist Dr. Otto Octavius (Alfred Molina), employed by Harry Osborn’s corporation, engages a dangerous experiment to utilize fusion as a new source of energy. Working in a huge laboratory adjacent to the East River, Dr. Octavius’ public demonstration of his creation goes horribly wrong, and suddenly the large robotic tentacles used for the experiment become fused to his spine.

In an instant, the good scientist is transformed into the mad Doc Ock, who’s own thought process is overrun by the mechanical arms that take villainous glee in wreaking havoc on Manhattan.

With the smart scientist turned into an evil genius of supreme villainy, the action kicks into high gear. Aside from the usual crime problems, Spider-Man is put to the test when Doc Ock goes on a crime spree, brazenly robbing banks and threatening the populace. There’s a spectacular battle on the side of a skyscraper when Doc Ock takes Aunt May hostage. It’s an even wilder ride when Spider-Man fights with the madman on a runaway elevated train that imperils all the passengers.

“Spider-Man 2,” the best of its kind, turns the comic book world into something vastly smarter and more appealing than you might expect. Thoughtful and dazzling, this action movie is magnificent and stunning in every way. It’s the must-see action picture of the summer.

THE CLEARING (Rated R) - With all the leading characters at least middle-aged or older, the psychological thriller that is “The Clearing” stakes a meaningful claim on a more mature film audience. Robert Redford, Helen Mirren and Willem Dafoe are not exactly actors for the adolescent crowd, though Dafoe had a notable turn as the Green Goblin in the first “Spider-Man.” While box office attention focuses most vividly on mass appeal, this film dares to be entertainment for grown-ups. “The Clearing,” though it has a few remarkable flaws, is nonetheless engrossing and compelling as a character study as well as a thriller.

Director Pieter Jan Brugge conceives the plotline as the result of an actual kidnapping in his native Holland. “The Clearing” finds its venue in a leafy, upscale suburb in Pittsburgh. Robert Redford’s Wayne Hayes, a self-made millionaire, has achieved great success in the business world, if not so much in his personal life. His wife Eileen (Helen Mirren) appears devoted, albeit mechanically, to the conceit of a marriage lasting three decades. That Wayne once strayed from his marriage is an important plot point that unfolds later. But for now, the important event is the kidnapping of Wayne from the front of his mansion one ordinary day.

Willem Dafoe’s Arnold Mack is the opposite of Wayne. Though married with a family, he appears to be a loner. His obsession is not self-improvement or spending time with his family. No, he focuses too intently on Wayne’s successful life. After kidnapping Wayne and taking him handcuffed into a forest, Arnold reveals himself in layers. Tortured by self-doubt, Arnold was laid off from his job at Wayne’s former company. Arnold knows too much about Wayne, and this situation offers an opening for Wayne to engage his captor in the sort of conversation that could bring an end to the hostage crisis.

Meanwhile, Eileen, joined by her adult children (Alessandro Nivola and Melissa Sagemiller), finds herself in a parallel story that unfolds with the FBI’s involvement. Agent Fuller (Matt Craven) takes up residence in the Hayes house to conduct an investigation, which leads to many unsettling revelations, among them Wayne’s affair with a former employee. Under very different but trying circumstances, both Wayne and Eileen maintain dignity and strength in the face of extreme difficulties.

“The Clearing” has some nifty psychological surprises on the home front and out in the forest. A couple of unfortunate things happen that seem out of character for the players involved, and these events detract from the film’s meaningful suspense. Due in large measure to superb acting, “The Clearing” delivers an unflinching portrait of people and the mistakes they commit.

FUN “CHICKS;” TEARY “NOTEBOOK” AND “BROTHERS;” NOIR “SLEEP”
A Film Review by Tim Riley

WHITE CHICKS (Rated PG-13) - The Wayans Brothers, with vast experience in film and TV shows, have a pretty good idea of what works for comedy. So it is not surprising that when Shawn Wayans read an article about socialites in the Hamptons, he thought that he and his brother Marlon, who just happen to be African-American, would be perfect to play snobby, rich white girls. The feeling that “White Chicks” is some sort of extended skit is not coincidental. Nevertheless, it delivers the laughs in a huge way, all because two black men gleefully skewer the pretensions of the debutante world.

The hapless Kevin and Marcus Copeland (Shawn and Marlon Wayans) are brothers on the downward spiral in the ranks of the FBI. These two agents have a knack for disguises, but don’t know how to collar suspects. After flubbing another bust, they are detailed to squire two stuck-up rich debutantes, Tiffany and Brittany Wilson, from the New York airport to the Hamptons. The girls need to be protected from an escaped convict, but following a slight accident in the car that results in trivial facial scratches, the girls decide to hide their faces for the weekend in a Manhattan penthouse.

Through the miracles of latex and prosthetics, Kevin and Marcus are transformed respectively into Brittany and Tiffany so that they can intermingle at the Hamptons social event to foil the kidnapping plot.

Amazingly, they fool Tiffany and Brittany’s best buddies, Karen, Lisa and Tori (Busy Philipps, Jennifer Carpenter and Jessica Cauffiel). The friends are somewhat suspicious that the socialite sisters have grown taller, but that’s about it. They don’t even blink when Tiffany and Brittany cop a new attitude that unloads disrespect on bitter rivals Heather and Megan Vandergeld (Jaime King and Brittany Daniel), two of the dumbest blondes ever to grace the party scene. While the female rivalry with the faux women is absolutely hilarious, there may be nothing funnier than star NFL player Latrell Spencer (Terry Crews) so attracted to Tiffany that he frantically bids at a charity auction for a night on the town with the object of his desire.

“White Chicks” is almost shameless in its clever spoofing of shopping, the social life, sexual antics and other affairs of the fancy set. It’s all incredibly hilarious and hysterically outrageous.

THE NOTEBOOK (Rated PG-13) - Watching the sentimental love story of “The Notebook” seemed as good an idea as suffering through root canal. The prospects didn’t look much better to me when small packets of tissues were handed out at the press screening. This was going to be a tearjerker that tugs at the heartstrings. While the tissues came in handy, the emotional pull of “The Notebook” is sincere, and is far from being cheesy or overly sappy.

There’s a handsome look to this film as the story time travels back to around 1940 to follow the turbulent journey of young lovers Noah Calhoun (Ryan Gosling) and Allie Hamilton (Rachel McAdams), who find improbable romance during one passionate summer in the quaint coastal town of Seabrook, North Carolina. Allie’s wealthy mom (Joan Allen) strenuously disapproves of Noah’s working class background. While they fall madly in love, the end of summer forces a terrible separation, as Allie is sent off to college. Soon the outbreak of World War II claims Noah for service in the European theater.

After the war, Noah returns home to build his dream house, all the while not having erased Allie from his heart. For her part, Allie is now engaged to marry a wealthy soldier (James Marsden) she met while volunteering at a GI hospital. Will fate intervene to reunite Allie and Noah, who were kept apart because Allie’s mom schemed to derail Noah’s persistence? The story of “The Notebook” is told from the present time, as a man named Duke (James Garner) reads from a notebook the story of these young lovers to a woman named Allie (Gena Rowlands) he regularly visits at a nursing home. Though afflicted with dementia, the older woman becomes caught up in the fiery story of Allie and Noah, and for a brief moment the storytelling stirs old passions within her.

“The Notebook” has very appealing lead actors in Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. We take a rooting interest in their romance. This sentiment is reason enough that “The Notebook” is noteworthy and a good candidate for a date movie.

TWO BROTHERS (Rated PG) - If you are searching for a suitable family film, and watching Jackie Chan circumnavigate the globe is no longer an option, then the heartwarming “Two Brothers” is just the ticket. Two tiger cubs, the eponymous characters of “Two Brothers,” are irresistibly cute and fun to watch. It’s an amazing technical feat that director Jean-Jacques Annaud coaxes a stunning range of emotions from exotic jungle cats.

The setting is early 20th century French colonial Indochina, where two tigers are born amidst the ruins of a forgotten Cambodian temple. Big game hunter and adventure novelist Aidan McRory (Guy Pearce) seeks his fortune in jungle artifacts, but doesn’t mind shooting exotic beasts. In a fateful encounter, Aidan kills the father of the two tiger cubs, Kumal and Sangha. While Sangha escapes into the jungle, Kumal ends up the captive of Aidan, who takes a liking to the cub, but is soon forced to sell the cub to a circus. Meanwhile, the corrupt regional governor Normandin (Jean-Claude Dreyfus) employs Aidan in the Prince’s hunting party, which results in the capture of Sangha.

Now in captivity, Sangha becomes a household pet for Normandin’s son, until an unfortunate mishap with the family pooch. Then, Sangha is dispatched to the Prince’s royal menagerie, where the animal trainer vows to break the cub’s gentle nature and turn him into a fighter for sport. One year later, the full-grown Sangha is prepared for a death battle with the circus tiger, now the full-grown Kumal.

This showdown turns into an unexpected love fest, as the two brothers recognize each other, and decide to play leapfrog and turn somersaults. Things get more interesting as Kumal and Sangha break free from the fenced arena and escape into the wild, only to be hunted down once again. Fortunately, “Two Brothers” finds a happy ending, as we fervently wish for this to happen. The story may be predictable, but these tigers, as both cubs and adults, are glorious, majestic creatures with an impressive range of emotional expressions. “Two Brothers” is a stunning achievement.

I’LL SLEEP WHEN I’M DEAD (Rated R) - British film noir is often a thrilling experience, with director Mike Hodges one of the masters of the medium ever since the groundbreaking “Get Carter” that starred Michael Caine over thirty years ago. The idea that Hodges would deliver a moody revenge thriller in “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” seemed an inevitable certainty. Alas, there’s an unfortunate breakdown between expectation and reality, as Hodges fashions an atmospheric piece of confusion that is needlessly mystifying and woefully obscure in plotting and details. This is the kind of thriller I really wanted to like, but found too baffling and contrived.

Clive Owen’s Will is an enigma right from the start. With shaggy hair and unkempt manner, Will is first spotted living in a van parked in the woods, where he apparently works odd jobs. He appears to be seeking sanctuary from the underworld life left behind, although there is nothing to tell us why he’s escaped from his London past. Meanwhile, his younger brother Davey (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) is living it up on the London social scene as the small time supplier of drugs to the beautiful people.

Wandering the desolate streets of London one night, Davey is attacked by crime boss Boad (Malcolm McDowell) and his thugs. The encounter leads to a brutal rape, and the shame of this causes Davey to commit suicide. Yet, Will knows there’s more to it than that, and within a short time, after ruffling the feathers of rival criminal gangs, Will sets out to exact his revenge.

Aside from a fantastic title and the thick haze of disturbing atmospherics, “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” is ultimately not quite the exhilarating exploration of the criminal subculture so familiar to the film noir experience. Both director Mike Hodges and star Clive Owen had better luck in “Croupier.”

THE TERMINAL (Rated PG-13) - The dream team of director Steven Spielberg and actor Tom Hanks combines their talent for a sly and sentimental comedy about the human condition, and amazingly enough, the action takes place almost entirely inside a major international airport. “The Terminal” is the anxious situation that befalls a foreign visitor stranded at the airport when his passport and visa are suspended. Have you ever being stuck in an airport terminal for a long delay? The feeling is terrible; I once spent the night at the Newark Airport, with nothing more than a patch of linoleum floor for a resting spot. How could anyone endure months of airport captivity?

Tom Hanks stars as Viktor Navorski, a visitor to New York City from the fictional Eastern Europe country of Krakozhia, a nation no longer recognized by the United States as the result of a sudden military coup. Viktor lands at New York’s JFK airport only to discover that his identity has become a casualty of the war at home. Familiar with one or two English words, Viktor soon runs afoul of gung-ho Customs official Frank Dixon (Stanley Tucci), who informs the foreign visitor that immigration red tape does not allow him to leave the airport.

Thus begins the ongoing cat-and-mouse game between the rigid bureaucrat and the befuddled foreigner. Confined to the international transit lounge, Viktor fully intends to wait until his paperwork is cleared up, and soon he begins a daily ritual of trying to get his visa stamped by Officer Torres (Zoe Saldana), who seems to admire his tenacity.

A matter of waiting a few days soon turns into weeks and months of lingering at the terminal. Viktor improves his language skills by watching CNN. He starts collecting luggage carts to retrieve the quarter deposits. Taking up residence in a wing under construction, he soon finds an under-the-table job with the work crew.

Meanwhile, airport workers like baggage handler Joe (Chi McBride) and food service worker Enrique (Diego Luna), strike up a friendship with Viktor. The latter provides hot meals to Viktor as an inducement to secure his help to woo another employee. Even the cynical Indian janitor Gupta (Kumar Pallana) finds himself caught up in Viktor’s resolute spirit and good will. Only the unbending bureaucrat Dixon does whatever he can to make Viktor’s life miserable, but he has his own agenda for promotion at his agency.

The person who has the greatest impact on Viktor is flight attendant Amelia Warren (Catherine Zeta-Jones), a vulnerable character bedeviled by relationship problems in her love life. Ever helpful and friendly, Viktor is a comforting presence to the woman with a rocky romance with a callous married man. A touching bond develops between them, but can it possibly be anything more than platonic?

“The Terminal” is tenderly funny and blissfully sentimental, with an emotional innocence oozing from Tom Hanks’ classic Everyman performance. Once again, the ability of Hanks to bring humor, warmth and sympathy to his character is reason enough to see this film.

DODGEBALL: A TRUE UNDERDOG STORY (Rated PG-13) - Some highbrow critics are certain to lambaste “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story” as a tasteless, inane and puerile comedy, with plenty of mindless sexual and bathroom jokes. Of course, they are right about the content, but fail to appreciate how the unrelenting silliness of “Dodgeball” turns into an effectively keen satire of the fitness craze and our sports-obsessed culture. More than anything, “Dodgeball” succeeds at taking the formula of scrappy underdogs prevailing against all odds and turning it into a raucous comedy. The laughs fly as fast and furious as the red rubber balls that are thrown in the typical playground game.

Giving new meaning to indolence, Vince Vaughn’s Peter LaFleur, an underachiever with rakish charm, is the proprietor of a rundown gym called Average Joe’s. The clientele are not exactly fitness buffs; they find the gym a clubhouse refuge. Steve (Alan Tudyk) walks, talks and thinks of himself as a pirate. High school nerd Justin (Justin Long) couldn’t even make it on the cheerleading squad. Gordon (Stephen Root), obsessed with obscure sports, hits upon an idea that is pivotal to the plot.

Across the street from Average Joe’s is a state-of-the-art fitness palace called Globo Gym, run by the egomaniacal White Goodman (Ben Stiller). Sporting a Fu Manchu mustache and perfectly coifed hair, White conceals his insecurity by aggressively touting the superiority of his gym. Now he intends to take over Average Joe’s and turn it into a parking lot for his customers. Peter is making it easy for Globo’s takeover since he has been careless with his accounting. The bank intends to foreclose on his gym, and attorney Kate Veatch (Christine Taylor) informs Peter that he has only 30 days to come up with $50,000.

The future of Average Joe’s looks dim until Gordon discovers that a dodgeball tournament in Las Vegas offers $50,000 in prize money. They recruit retired dodgeball legend Patches O’Houlihan (Rip Torn), now confined to a wheelchair, to act as coach.

His unorthodox training methods include throwing wrenches at his players to test their reflexes. Before long the misfit team advances to the Las Vegas tournament, only to find that Globo Gym has put together its own team, including a quasi-female ringer from Eastern Europe.

“Dodgeball” is full of silly and outlandish humor, generating almost non-stop laughs. This raucous comedy has plenty of sharp touches, such as the presence of fictional ESPN 8, or “The Ocho,” where Gary Cole’s announcer plays it straight in bringing a sense of importance to the televised dodgeball tournament.

AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS (Rated PG) - A family film that is pitched to kids with little knowledge of Jules Verne or the 1956 movie, “Around the World in 80 Days” is equal parts comedy, fantasy, action-adventure and martial arts that brings a new flavor to an old standby. The premise retains the familiarity of the crackpot British inventor’s wager about circumnavigating the globe. But to take advantage of Jackie Chan’s starring role, there’s a whole new twist for the modern sensibility of young audiences that finds his karate moves appealing.

In a most improbable fashion, Jackie Chan turns into French valet Passepartout, mainly as a cover for his escape after a daring robbery of the Bank of England to retrieve a priceless jade Buddha. Passepartout hooks up with inventor Phileas Fogg (Steve Coogan) while evading the local police. Fogg, of course, is constantly ridiculed by the membership of the Royal Academy of Science, where its director Lord Kelvin (Jim Broadbent) proves eager to boot Fogg from its roster. Preoccupied with all sorts of wacky inventions, the eccentric Fogg embarks on a mission to go around the world in 80 days.

Eager to return the jade Buddha to his village in China and to evade a Chinese warlord (Karen Joy Morris), Passepartout has his own agenda for the trip. At an art show in Paris, the two adventurers are joined by hat check girl and aspiring artist Monique (Cecile de France) as they steal away in a hot air balloon. The adventure continues through various exotic locales, with a stop in Turkey where the trio encounters the weird hospitality of a randy prince (Arnold Schwarzenegger, in an oddly amusing goof on his last days before a career switch). Along the way, there are encounters with other well-known stars and personalities, and these cameo appearances work better when they come as a surprise.

Befitting the mayhem that surrounds the world tour, “Around the World in 80 Days” is a slapstick comedy full of crazy stunts and mindless action. Even though it’s marketed to kids, the film has an amusing, sweet-natured quality that will also entertain the parents. The Disney touch is enough to ensure the family appeal.

REAL LAUGHS FOR “STEPFORD;” THE CAT’S MEOW IN “GARFIELD”

A Film Review by Tim Riley

THE STEPFORD WIVES (Rated PG-13) - Recollection of a science-fiction and horror film made nearly three decades ago is hazy at best, and honestly, it seems that any need to remember the original version of “The Stepford Wives” is pointless when the updated form takes a major detour. The premise of the 1975 motion picture thriller probed the dark corners of a response to the first wave of feminism, given the fascination of insecure men wanting beautiful trophy wives perfected as easily managed robots. Now the premise is played as a giant spoof, and so this new variation of “The Stepford Wives” is so subversively and wickedly funny that it imagines a wealthy modern suburbia as some sort of throwback to the Donna Reed era of the 1950s.

Joanna Eberhart (Nicole Kidman) is the kind of tough-minded career woman imagined by Hollywood, and so it seems fitting that she’s the youngest president in history of the fictional EBS television network based in Manhattan. This determined female executive’s grip on her position appears so firm that it is quite shocking that everything collapses at a disastrous affiliates meeting. Responsible for a reality program called “I Can Do Better” that encourages the breakup of marriages, Joanna is the casualty of one unhappy contestant’s revenge quest. Fired from her job, Joanna slips into a state of depression so severe that her husband Walter (Matthew Broderick) packs up the family to make a fresh start in the Connecticut suburban paradise that is Stepford. A nebbish with a low-level executive position, Walter is anxious about his “perfect” marriage.

The quaint town of Stepford, secured by private gates and nestled in a bucolic setting, is oddly different. Every home is a stunning mansion and every woman wears a print dress and looks like a 1950s housewife out of a Playboy fantasy. The first person that Joanna and Walter meet is realtor Claire Wellington (Glenn Close), a bubbly, attractive woman eager to promote homemaking activities such as baking cakes, playing with kids and mowing the lawn. Within a New York minute, these city folks should be aware that something is seriously amiss. But since “The Stepford Wives” is a feature length film, it will take time for the light to dawn, and besides, it’s ridiculously inane fun to see impossibly subservient women catering to every husband’s whim.

While Joanna grows increasingly uneasy, Walter feels like a freshman at a frat rush when he joins the Men’s Association, the center of activity for all the idle husbands who apparently spend no more time at the office than Ozzie Nelson did. The leader of the men’s group is Mike Wellington (the reliably creepy Christopher Walken), and his wife Claire conducts aerobics classes where the women exercise in their floral print dresses. Joanna is less than thrilled that the local book club seeks to discuss nothing more challenging than the use of pine cones for Christmas decorations.

She soon finds a soul mate in acerbic writer Bobbie Markowitz (Bette Midler), a slovenly homemaker untouched by Stepford’s rigidity. An even more flamboyant personality is gay architect Roger Bannister (Roger Bart), who came to Stepford hoping to save his rocky relationship with his uptight partner Jerry (David Marshall Grant). Bobbie and Roger, both outrageously subversive, supply much of the humor with biting one-liners and sarcastic asides.

It’s easy to see how “The Stepford Wives” could have taken a serious turn into the bleak terrain of human manipulation. Though satirical points are made about a number of social issues, the preoccupation this time around is with what is wildly hilarious and wickedly funny. The most interesting characters are the ones challenging the robotic system. Bette Midler’s sharp tongue exudes defiance to her husband, played by the smarmy Jon Lovitz. Surprisingly, Nicole Kidman finds her comic stride in plenty of time to deliver real laughs for “The Stepford Wives.”

GARFIELD: THE MOVIE (Rated PG) - Garfield, the lovable fat cat of comic strip fame, has finally arrived on the Hollywood scene; he’s got his own movie, the eponymous “Garfield: The Movie.” Clocking in at 80 minutes, the movie has little plot and even less time to develop one. But this matters hardly at all when the star attraction is an oversized feline with hooded eyes and toothy grin.

In a live-action adventure, there was no other choice than to make Garfield a computer generated image of the exceedingly big and fat cat, while all his other animal pals are the real deal. Giving significant heft to a movie light on story is bringing the right voice to a cat keen on biting, satirical commentary. The proper sense of comedy for this role was found in Bill Murray’s hilarious delivery.

Garfield trumpets the virtues of sloth and lethargy, barely able to rouse himself from his comfortable bed unless a plate of lasagna suddenly appears. His owner Jon (Breckin Meyer) is an indulgent caregiver to the indolent Garfield, willing to take him for frequent checkups to the vet. The painfully awkward Jon has a major crush on Dr. Liz Wilson (the comely Jennifer Love Hewitt), and a visit to her clinic is just another missed opportunity to ask her out for a date.

For all his fumbling efforts, what Jon gets from Liz is a lovable, dimwitted dog named Odie, a panting creature that represents everything that Garfield loathes. The wisecracking cat, given to hurling insults at his owner, now has a real reason to be peeved. The clueless Odie is a nitwit who chases his tail until he’s dizzy and crashes into walls.
With his feline friends in the neighborhood, Garfield starts plotting the demise of his canine nemesis.

Meanwhile, a low-rent cable TV show host, the conniving Happy Chapman (Stephen Tobolowsky), decides that he must find a talented pooch that could write his ticket to a network show. Odie figures into this dastardly plan after he becomes the star attraction at a dog show with an impromptu dance. When Odie is kidnapped by the miserable Happy, Garfield is bothered by his conscience and manages to pull himself away from the sofa and the TV remote control for an unlikely rescue operation.

The mission impossible becomes predictably more complicated when Garfield is snatched by overzealous animal control officers and tossed in the local pound. While in detention, Garfield organizes the dog and cat inmates to bust out of prison in a clever escape trick.

By this time, the lazy, crotchety cat with an attitude has fairly well exhausted his supply of quips and one-liner barbs. Furthermore, the element of surprise has already vanished, as it is clear to anyone older than one dog year how this predictable plot, right down to the inevitable love story between Jon and Dr. Liz, will play out. Still, “Garfield: The Movie” has amusingly funny moments, thanks to Bill Murray’s cozy voice bristling with sarcasm. This is not on par with “Shrek 2,” but it is a pleasant diversion when you need to take young kids to a movie.

MAGICAL POWER OF “HARRY POTTER” STILL DAZZLES
A Film Review by Tim Riley

HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN (Rated PG) - The prolific author J.K. Rowling seems unlikely to run out of Harry Potter stories any time soon, and that poses an eventual dilemma for the movie franchise. Only now, with the third installment that is “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban,” does it appear that the trio of charismatic young actors, essential to the success of the series, faces the inevitable problem of aging too quickly into adulthood.

The fundamental appeal of the “Harry Potter” films is the rooting interest we have in the bravery and resourcefulness of the young practitioners of the magical arts at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Before long these kids will be in graduate school. At the instant moment, Daniel Radcliffe’s Harry Potter is for now the brooding teenager, and his pranks on horrible relatives are darker and edgier. Harry’s pals, Hermione Granger (Emma Watson) and Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint), are also paradoxically more mature and sullen. Still, they’ve got that great chemistry that really clicks.

Suffering another summer with the dreadful Dursleys, Harry finds it unbearable to behave in the face of maltreatment from his dismal relatives. Foregoing his pledge not to practice magic, he gets pushed too far by Aunt Marge (Pam Ferris), and so it is beyond his control that she should inflate like a hot air balloon and drift away. This is a singularly hilarious moment that should land Harry in a heap of trouble, so he escapes into the night, fearing repercussions from Hogwarts and the

Ministry of Magic, which strictly forbids student from using magic in the real world.
Picked up by the Knight Bus, a triple-decker purple vehicle that might be more fitting for a touring rock band, Harry is whisked off to the Leaky Cauldron pub to meet with the Minister of Magic. Instead of reprisals, Harry learns that he is headed back to Hogwarts for his third year of study. Trouble awaits him at the school, but it has nothing to do with a heavy academic load.

It quickly transpires that a dangerous and enigmatic wizard, Sirius Black (Gary Oldman), has escaped Azkaban prison and is believed to be searching for Harry. This is bad news indeed because Sirius, who claims to be the inventor of the eponymous satellite radio system (okay, just kidding), was responsible for leading Lord Voldemort to Harry’s parents. Well, Harry’s parents subsequently met an untimely demise, and thus you can put two and two together.

Now, boarding school is bad enough when off-campus privileges are tightly controlled, but it’s much worse now that the Dementors, the terrifying black-robed Azkaban guards, are stationed around the school in an attempt to protect the students from Sirius. The students may have reason to fear the Dementors, who suck the souls from their victims and appear to have a more deleterious affect on Harry than on the other classmates. Harry’s salvation appears in the form of new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Lupin (David Thewlis), who trains his star pupil on an effective defense mechanism. The avuncular and unkempt Lupin is one of the last surviving links between Harry and his parents, and so the Professor is a great comfort for Harry. But since things are always a bit complicated, Professor Lupin harbors his own dark secret, though he does not waver as a reliable ally.

Harry and his pals need all the friends they can get, even the eccentric ones like the giant Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane), the groundskeeper now promoted at Hogwarts as the Care of Magical Creatures teacher. There’s the magical new creature called Buckbeak, a half-eagle, half-horse invention described as a “hippogriff.” Emma Thompson is new on the scene as the neurotic Divination Professor Trelawney who senses doom through a cloudy crystal ball and by reading tea leaves, and yet is completely incapable of seeing what’s right in front of her. Michael Gambon has taken the role of esteemed Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, but he doesn’t quite have the presence of the late Richard Harris.

The shifty-eyed Professor Snape (Alan Rickman) is back with his chilling glare, but what’s the deal with the dark secret he seems so eager to reveal? For that matter, what’s the relationship between the tweedy Professor Lupin and the menacing sorcerer Sirius Black? Slithering bad boy Draco Malfoy (Tom Felton), the snotty resident of Slytherin Hall, returns as the nemesis, but he’s not terribly effective this time since he can’t take a punch from Hermione.
The adult players, regardless of their empathy or menace, are second string to the trio of magic students who anchor the

“Harry Potter” franchise. No less than the previous two films, this one is loaded with the nifty special effects that dazzle and amaze, providing a sense of awe to young and old. But it is the presence of Harry, Ron and Hermione that grabs our attention, for these kids have matured into more complex adolescents plagued by teen angst and self-doubt. As a result they have become more interesting to watch, so here’s hoping that Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint get a few more “Potter” films under their belts before rapidly advancing adulthood sends them into retirement.

“Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban,” by all indications of the lasting power of this third installment, has the franchise potential of a James Bond longevity. J.K. Rowling, more so than Ian Fleming, is on track to crank out more volumes. The challenge will always be to keep things fresh, and new director Alfonso Cuaron has done just that with a darker tone. The magical power of this “Harry Potter” is a stunning achievement.

WASTED “TOMORROW;” ROCKIN’ “SOUL PLANE;” TENDER “HELEN”
A Film Review by Tim Riley

THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW (Rated PG-13) - Propelled by a blatant political agenda, “The Day After Tomorrow” serves little purpose in a sensible dialogue on global warming, because what is at hand is laughably preposterous. Depending on one’s political perspective, there is reason to groan or cheer at the insipid debate between uncaring politicians and alarmist scientists. The central premise of this disaster film is that a new Ice Age must be triggered abruptly and not over the centuries of time that gradual warming of the atmosphere would suggest. “The Day After

Tomorrow” has a running time of two hours, so there’s an obvious urgency to laying waste to the planet.
Leave the politics to activists hectoring on street corners, and seize on the fantastic special effects of severe weather events that wreak cataclysmic horror. The story begins in Antarctica where scientist Jack Hall (Dennis Quaid) has just witnessed a piece of ice the size of Rhode Island breaking off the Ice Shelf. In short order, at a climate conference in

New Delhi, Jack confronts the skeptical Vice President (Kenneth Welsh, a Cheney lookalike) with his dire predictions. Then the fierce weather conditions kick in with the force of nuclear annihilation. Hail the size of grapefruit batters Toyko, killing pedestrians left and right. Hurricane winds pound Hawaii into oblivion. A series of tornadoes whip through Los Angeles, obliterating landmarks such as the Hollywood sign and the Capitol Records building.

A colleague (Ian Holm) in Scotland confirms Jack’s worst fears about massive global change, but these warnings go unheeded. One global super storm is hours away from putting most of the U.S. in the deep freeze, but Jack’s teenage son Sam (Jake Gyllenhaal) is trapped in New York City after competing in an academic competition. So now Sam and his pretty girlfriend (Emmy Rossum) take refuge in the New York Public Library with a bunch of nerds because Manhattan is being engulfed by massive tidal waves. As temperatures plunge, the kids stay warm by debating which books to burn, ignoring all the wooden chairs and desks that would better serve the purpose.

Talk about the really ridiculous, Jack takes two colleagues from Washington, D.C. and heads north to save Sam. Snowstorms cause Jack to abandon his car in Philadelphia, allowing only for a walk the rest of the distance. This trek, of course, is patently foolish, since there is no sign of life anywhere, and the rapidly freezing atmosphere spares no one exposed to the elements. If you’ve seen any of the Irwin Allen disaster films, you can guess where things are going.

“The Day After Tomorrow,” so full of nifty effects about Mother Nature’s extremely destructive power, is devoid of any real human drama that is truly convincing. Even the humor is mostly stilted, and yet there is one supremely funny scene of scores of Americans, in search of warm weather, crossing the border illegally into Mexico. “The Day After Tomorrow,” mostly a wasted effort, would work better on video, where the option to skip anything not involving the special effects would be very helpful.

SOUL PLANE (Rated R) - Imagined as an African-American version of “Airplane!,” the politically incorrect “Soul Plane” soars on an excess of raunchy sexual and bathroom humor that is wildly funny. Granted, this movie features an endless stream of vulgar jokes that locate targets in the usual places, and of course, this means any number of people are bound to be offended. Not concerning itself with good taste, “Soul Plane” is on a bumpy flight path to outrageous hilarity and comic mayhem.

The premise that an urban airline could provide a wild ride is the ambition of huckster Nashawn Wade (Kevin Hart), the recipient of a $100 million settlement for humiliation at the hands of a snooty airline. Nashawn, with the help of his conniving cousin Muggsy (Method Man), buys a tricked-out purple plane and names his airline NWA. The maiden flight from Los Angeles to New York is about to get underway from the new Malcolm X terminal, where the sassy security guards Jamiqua (Mo’Nique) and Shaniece (Loni Love) are only too eager to strip search any passenger remotely resembling Denzel Washington. The urban terminal houses such unique airport vendors as a 99-cents store and Roscoe’s House of Chicken ‘n’ Waffles.

Nashawn’s metallic purple and chrome-colored plane comes complete with hot tubs and a dance club with live DJs and funky music. Passengers in first class are treated to plush leather seats and Cristal, while others are herded to the back to “low class,” where overhead bins are coin-operated lockers and food service consists of Popeye’s fried chicken from the box and malt liquor. The only white passengers on board are Elvis Hunkee (Tom Arnold), his girlfriend Barbara (Missi Pyle), and his two kids, Heather (Arielle Kebbel), anxious to celebrate her 18th birthday, and Billy (Ryan Pinkston), obsessed with becoming a director of hip-hop music videos.

Flight attendants are decked out in outrageously sexy outfits, which is a good thing for the slinky Bianca (Sofia Vergara). Thankfully, bathroom attendant Johnny (D.L. Hughley) and the flamboyantly gay Flame (Gary Anthony Williams) are more conservatively attired. Most shocking of all is that Snoop Dogg’s Captain Mack is behind the controls in the cockpit. The captain apparently learned his flight training at the same school as the al Qaeda terrorists; he has no idea how to land a plane, but that matters little when he consumes too many mushrooms in mid-flight.

There’s a subplot about Nashawn trying to reconcile with his ex-flame Giselle (K.D. Aubert), but it comes off like filler in between the barrage of laughs. Like “Airplane!” and others of its kind, “Soul Plane” spits out the jokes and gags at rapid fire, and much of it is funny if you can enjoy the plot’s pointless and haphazard drift into crass humor.

RAISING HELEN (Rated PG-13) - Director Garry Marshall is a veteran of the typical romantic comedies with a happy ending for the leading lady. His involvement with “Raising Helen” is hardly a creative departure, for once again he fashions the usual pleasant resolution of life’s problems. The beneficiary this time is the adorable Kate Hudson, who at a young age is creating her own cottage industry of fairy tale conclusions. “Raising Helen” is a cute and funny romantic comedy in a Disney sort of way.

Hudson’s Helen Harris is on the fast track to success with a high-powered Manhattan modeling agency, working for the no-nonsense Dominique (Helen Mirren, with a stern silver hairdo). Her days are spent at fashion shows and her nights at the city’s hottest clubs. But Helen’s carefree lifestyle comes abruptly to a halt when her oldest sister (Felicity Huffman) dies in an auto accident along with her husband. The natural guardian for the three children left behind would be Helen’s other sister Jenny (Joan Cusack), a super mom with an extreme passion for all things involving homemaking.

Much to her surprise, Helen is awarded custody of troubled teen Audrey (Hayden Panettiere), wisecracking Henry (Spencer Breslin) and 5-year-old Sarah (Abigail Breslin). The glamour girl knows little about raising kids, and it shows when she’s unable to balance career and motherly duties. Losing her job at the agency, Helen moves the kids to a lower-middle class neighborhood in Queens, and yet she is able to enroll them in a nice Lutheran school. The principal of the school is Pastor Dan (John Corbett), an eligible bachelor who soon has to let Helen know that he didn’t take a vow of celibacy. How long will it take before there’s a date at the Bronx Zoo?

Not to belabor the point, but if you don’t know the road traveled for “Raising Helen,” a warm and tender comedy, then you haven’t seen enough Garry Marshall films. Though Kate Hudson is agreeably charming and adorable, her role as the coolest aunt in New York is so predictable that there is scant reason to rush to

THE HILARITY OF “SHREK 2” DELIVERS A TON OF LAUGHS
A Film Review by Tim Riley

SHREK 2 (Rated PG-13) The comedy was deliciously subversive and fractured in the original “Shrek,” released three years ago by DreamWorks. It took obvious trouble to skewer some of the Disney cartoon characters and traditions as well as the Disney World theme park. The payoff was plenty of laughs. Along comes “Shrek 2,” still poking satiric fun at the fairy tale universe, to show that lampooning an ogre’s path to living “happily ever after” remains rich with comic possibilities. “Shrek 2,” possessing some significant stylistic changes, is easily as funny as the original, and it would be a challenge to pick one over the other as clearly superior.

The green-skinned ogre Shrek (voice of Mike Myers) fought the evil Lord Farquaad and a fire-breathing dragon to win the hand of Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) in the first movie. Now returning from their honeymoon, Fiona and Shrek are settling into the tranquility of their swamp-land home when an invitation arrives from Fiona’s parents requesting a visit to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away. This summons brings a sense of dread to Shrek, who fears that meeting the in-laws is the greatest challenge of his life. The long trek to Far, Far Away is a bumpy ride for the newlyweds, considering that the loquacious Donkey (Eddie Murphy in full motor-mouth form), riding in the back of the carriage, is as amusingly annoying as ever with his constant refrain of “Are there yet?”

The homecoming at Far, Far Away anticipates that Fiona is bringing along her handsome charming Prince, not a fearsome ogre. The shallow reality of this enchanting kingdom is its very likeness as a glamorous medieval Beverly Hills, with a “Far, Far Away” sign planted in the hills above much like the fabled Hollywood sign. As the carriage bearing the newlyweds bumps along cobblestone streets, you quickly glimpse the fancy shops in the background that spoof the modern originals. Naturally, a version of Starbucks is present, but also swank fashion stores like Versarchery and Saxxon Fifth Avenue. The filmmakers have littered the landscape with sight gags that are unlikely to be completely noticed on the first viewing.

King Harold (John Cleese) and Queen Lillian (Julie Andrews) are stunned to find their daughter has morphed into an ogre’s perfect mate. They had held high hopes that Fiona would have been rescued by the real Prince Charming (Rupert Everett), a preening narcissist who constantly flips his flowing locks of hair. The scheming Fairy Godmother (Jennifer Saunders) sets her malicious sights on disrupting the marriage, if only to salvage her reputation for having arranged Prince Charming’s nuptials to the Princess. Abetted by the King, the Fairy Godmother launches a scheme to eliminate Shrek.

Not surprisingly, a rift develops between Shrek and Fiona, as they grapple with the nefarious plotting at the royal court. While wandering in the woods near the castle, Shrek and Donkey are suddenly confronted by a formidable assassin, a swashbuckling cat who acts like Zorro. The ogre-killer Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) plays the part with Spanish flair, able to shift from menacing feline to adorable kitty according to circumstances. Puss is soon converted from foe to Shrek’s ally, much to the dismay of Donkey who is only too eager to let it be known that the position of “annoying talking animal” is his exclusive domain. Much of the film’s cleverness and humor belongs to Puss in Boots, stealing every scene in which he figures prominently.

Similar to the original, “Shrek 2” has great fun with its parody of popular culture, perhaps taken to even greater lengths here. Pinocchio spoofs Tom Cruise’s most difficult trick from “Mission: Impossible.” Theme songs of old TV favorites are employed to unusual effect. A drive-through restaurant gives away unique medieval toys. Even a picture of Justin Timberlake becomes a decoration in a royal bedchamber. The best sight gags, plentiful as they are, provide no serious comedic match to the superior banter that is going on between Shrek, Fiona, Donkey and Puss in Boots. Brief appearances by Larry King as the Ugly Stepsister tending bar at the Poison Apple and Joan Rivers spoofing herself as the announcer of special guests arriving at the royal ball add to the comic mayhem.

“Shrek 2,” geared to a younger audience with its smart animated look, appeals to adults with a humor inspired by cultural references unlikely to be appreciated by kids. This delightfully hilarious entertainment is worthwhile for just about everybody.

THE SPECTACLE OF “TROY” MAKES MAGNIFICIENT EPIC
A Film Review by Tim Riley

TROY (Rated R) The ancient poet Homer, author of “The Iliad,” apparently doesn’t have a Hollywood agent, otherwise he might object to how the epic film “Troy” has taken liberties with his own epic work that chronicled the fall of invincible Troy. The sentiment of a dead poet is not likely to factor into the perception of a modern audience about the thrilling spectacle of a swords-and-sandals classic. Amazing and astonishing in scope and scale of its majestic battle scenes, “Troy” is stunning and spectacular in its ostentatious display of action on a grand scale. The face of Helen of Troy launched a thousand ships, and so does “Troy,” not holding back on its opulence. Rumored to have spent the equivalent of the GNP of a developing nation, “Troy” lavishes its battle scenes with an abundance of riches. The result is simply dazzling.

Greek mythology is infinitely fascinating, which makes players in the legendary Trojan War like Prince Hector, Achilles and Odysseus mesmerizing characters. Better still would have been the involvement of the Greek gods, but “Troy” is content to focus mostly on the mortals, though some of them are quite powerful and fierce. Passion is at the heart of the momentous event driving “Troy.” Passion often leads to foolish behavior, and particular during a peace mission to Sparta. Prince Hector (Eric Bana) of Troy celebrates an end to hostility with King Menelaus (Brendan Gleeson) of Sparta. But Hector’s younger, impetuous brother Paris (Orlando Bloom) is busy spending time in the bedchamber of Menelaus’ much younger wife Helen (Diane Kruger), known as one of the world’s greatest beauties.

Setting sail for Troy, Paris spirits Helen on board the ship without the knowledge of his brother. The implications of this stupidity are immediately clear when Hector fears that trouble will quickly come to the walled city of Troy. Helen’s cuckolded husband rages for swift revenge, and his brother Agamemnon (Brian Cox), the powerful King of the Mycenaeans gripped with arrogant ambition to expand the Greek empire, sees opportunity to grab control of a key piece of real estate.

Meanwhile, Achilles (Brad Pitt buffed like a Greek god), a warrior of such skill and fame that his name alone invokes cold dread, is rumored to have immortality thanks to the fact that his mother Thetis (Julie Christie) may be a goddess. Motivated by his place in history, the vain Achilles concerns himself with enhancing his warrior image by engaging in battles that satisfy his insatiable lust for glory. Often working in the service of the reviled Agamemnon, Achilles knows that when he is summoned to battle against the Trojans it is only for the personal gain of the arrogant King of the Greeks. As if to underscore his independent streak, Achilles commands his own small band of warriors that functions like a mercenary army.

Hector and Paris arrive in Troy just ahead of the encroaching Greek armada. Their father, King Priam (Peter O’Toole), and a council of elders debate the consequences of pressing war with the Greeks or returning Menelaus’ stolen bride. The choice is made when Paris refuses to surrender Helen. War is not only inevitable; it is soon upon them when a thousand Greek warships land upon the Trojan shore. With the indestructible Achilles leading the attack, the Greeks swiftly take the beach. Yet, the Trojans sense a certain security in the fact that the walls of Troy have never been breached. But then, Troy has never faced Achilles and the entire Greek army.

The war effort becomes somewhat murky when Agamemnon rages at the insolent behavior of his prized warrior. Achilles makes no effort to hide his contempt for the avaricious king, and only the honorable and sensible Odysseus (Sean Bean) is able to gain the trust of Achilles. When the Greeks lay waste to the Temple of Apollo, the beautiful acolyte Briseis (Rose Byrne), a cousin to Prince Hector, remains defiant and unafraid of Achilles. This bravery appeals to Achilles, but Agamemnon abducts Briseis as a way to punish the warrior for his scorn. As a result, Achilles refuses to raise his sword again in the name of the malevolent ruler, and thus the Greeks lose their battle edge. The Trojans soon prove more formidable, and a bloody standoff wreaks terrible destruction on both sides.

There is no end to battle, as it appears that the thousands of soldiers get equal time in battlefield close-ups. The thought that the battles of “Troy” bear striking resemblance to “Braveheart” soon crosses the mind. A familiarity with Greek mythology puts anyone in a frame of mind to anticipate certain events, such as the stupendous showdown between Achilles and Hector. By this point, Hector has become the most sympathetic character in the movie, and the pain to his wife (Saffron Burrows) and family is heartfelt. When the famous Trojan horse makes its appearance, you sense the inevitable doom of a peaceful society about to crumble under the weight of a far superior force.

“Troy” offers Brad Pitt many opportunities to strut and preen like a proud peacock, often to the point of self-mocking absurdity. But there are many good scenes in the movie. Brian Cox and Brendan Gleeson are wonderfully full of bluster. Peter O’Toole has a memorable encounter with Pitt when he displays uncommon courage to retrieve some family honor. “Troy” succeeds as an epic spectacle because it has a great story and the non-stop action is thoroughly engaging and compelling. Cecil B. DeMille would probably marvel at this effort.

MONSTER CLASH IN “VAN HELSING” A THRILLING RIDE
A Film Review by Tim Riley

VAN HELSING (Rated PG-13) Purists of the horror genre may be dismayed by the vision of writer and director Stephen Sommers to reinvigorate the Transylvanian landscape in “Van Helsing.” The same naysayers had little regard for his efforts in the smashing success of “The Mummy” and its sequel. To his credit, Sommers realizes that the era of Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff is long over, and that the modern audience for the most part is looking for the kind of thrilling roller-coaster ride of adventure that is the hallmark of his work. “Van Helsing,” even more so than the previous adventures in the Egyptian desert, is a spectacular excitement of breathtaking dimensions. The action, with the help of impressive computer generated imagery and a booming soundtrack, is virtually constant to the point that an overload of fantastic imagery and stirring action sequences commands our amazed attention.

Van Helsing, reinvented from author Bram Stoker’s idea of an older professor, is a hip, younger bounty hunter on a mission to eradicate monsters of all stripes. Imagined as a cool character, Van Helsing appears as a 19th century version of a smooth James Bond and intrepid Indiana Jones, even though he doesn’t sip martinis or carry a bullwhip. It seems only fitting that Hugh Jackman, often mentioned as a prime candidate to be the next actor to play Bond, is cast in the role of Gabriel Van Helsing, a fearsome mercenary hired by a secret religious order tucked away in the catacombs of the Vatican. His mission is that of a covert agent assigned to kill evildoers.

We first see Van Helsing in action in late 19th century Paris, where he ascends the top of Notre Dame for a showdown with a nearly indestructible Mr. Hyde. An example of the film’s gratifying attention to detail is a glimpse of the half-finished Eiffel Tower in a background shot. A wanted man throughout Europe, Van Helsing is mistaken for a cold-blooded murderer by the authorities, since his identity must always be kept secret. Actually, the mysterious Van Helsing, looking sharp in a broad-brimmed hat and long dark overcoat, is a deeply conflicted character, not knowing where he came from and why he is so hell-bent for slaying vampires and other grotesque creatures.

The story kicks into high gear in the Transylvanian village where the townsfolk are taking up pitchforks for an assault on Dr. Frankenstein’s castle. This event apparently does not go unnoticed by the secret Vatican society, where the decision is made to dispatch Van Helsing to the region for a confrontation with the 400 year-old Count Dracula (a mesmerizing Richard Roxburgh). In what appears to be a less than coincidental link to James Bond, the secret society operates an underground weapons factory and spy operation that would make British secret operative Q most proud. A young friar named Carl (David Wenham), an expert at creating effective weapons, is much like Q in the way he trains Van Helsing to operate a machine gun that shoots arrows. What Carl, inexperienced at monster hunting in the field, didn’t count on was becoming Van Helsing’s sidekick on the trip to the dark side of Eastern Europe.

The only thing to stand between Count Dracula and possible world domination is a royal family on the verge of extinction. For centuries the royal ancestors of Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale) have fought to end an ancient vampire curse. Hardly a dainty princess, Anna stands a fearless hunter in her own right, even dressed for the part in tight corset and high-heeled boots. Her brother Velkan (Will Kemp) has just suffered a bite from a werewolf and must deal with the fact that he will become a Wolf Man at the next full moon.

There’s no time to waste to confront Dracula, who employs his three beautiful but bloodthirsty Brides (Elena Anaya, Silvia Colloca and Josie Maran) to terrorize the village when they turn into bats swooping down on victims. The Frankenstein Monster (Shuler Hensley), thought to have died in a horrific fire, is very much alive, and the object of Dracula’s plot to stimulate the electric energy needed to turn his thousands of dead children into an army of flying bats. Misunderstood and persecuted, the Frankenstein Monster is a sympathetic character who becomes a pivotal force in the showdown with vampires.

“Van Helsing,” heavy on the action, still has some comic relief, mostly provided by Igor (Kevin J. O’Connor), the treacherous assistant to Dr. Frankenstein who easily transfers his allegiance to Dracula. Like any good secret service agent, Van Helsing has a few quips of his own, but he is typically preoccupied with battling Dracula, the Wolf Man and other assorted creatures. Showdowns with the vampire take place in many settings, from the elegant costume ball at a castle or the runaway carriage ride through the dense forest.

Launching into the summer season of thrilling action, “Van Helsing” is a fantastic start, where non-stop action creates the chilling excitement of a really entertaining popcorn movie. Climb aboard the “Van Helsing” express for an awesome ride. Hugh Jackman has certainly cemented his hold on the role of an action hero likely to remain popular for some time.

“13 GOING” FOR LAUGHS; “MAN ON FIRE” BURNS WITH ACTION
A Film Review by Tim Riley

13 GOING ON 30 (Rated PG-13) - The comic fantasy world where a kid is suddenly thrust into an adult body is not something that hasn’t been done before. Probably the best effort at an extreme chronological shift came with Tom Hanks in “Big.” And so it is that “13 Going on 30” has some rather big shoes to fill. That task falls to Jennifer Garner, best known for her TV work in “Alias,” who has such a bright, cheerful and spirited personality as an adult with a teenager’s mindset that “13 Going on 30” is more clever and original than expected. A tried-and-true comedy formula works when the right conditions are in play.

The story begins in 1987 when Jenna Rink (Christa B. Allen), an awkward teen who doesn’t fit in with the cool crowd, hosts her 13th birthday party in the basement of her New Jersey home. She tries to ingratiate herself with obnoxious classmates by offering to do their homework, but the party turns into a disaster when the same snotty kids ditch the festivities. Left behind is her only real friend, pudgy kid next door, Matt (Jack Salvatore Jr.), who shows real talent with a camera.

Distraught Jenna finds herself wishing that she would suddenly turn 30, leaving behind the angst of teen years. With the help of some magical pixie dust, Jenna (now Jennifer Garner) wakes up the next morning in the year 2004 in a swank Manhattan apartment, stunned beyond belief that her hockey player boyfriend has stripped naked for a morning shower. While she has the mind of a 13 year-old, Jenna is surprised to find her body has matured into that of the 30 year-old she so desperately wanted to be. The comedic complications are evident from her inability to grasp the realities of this sudden thrust into maturity, and her innocent, childlike reaction to the adult world creates plenty of comic upheaval.

Even more surprising is Jenna’s discovery that she became the hard-edged, cynical editor of “Poise,” a fashion magazine. One of her colleagues at work is Lucy (Judy Greer), a duplicitous back-stabber who was a member of the clique of cool kids in junior high. The dream life that Jenna wanted has been achieved at a considerable cost. Unpleasant and nasty, she’s feared by her co-workers, with only her boss (Andy Serkis) willing to condone her prickly nature. Heck, Jenna won’t even take phone calls from her loving parents.

As it goes with comedies involving a body switch, everyone reacts in comical ways to the noticeable behavior changes of the new Jenna, who abruptly turns more pleasant and friendly. But problems arise for Jenna’s tenuous grip on her job as editor, when it becomes clear that “Poise” is losing valuable market share to its rival “Sparkle.” Trying to get a grip on her predicament, Jenna reconnects with her only true friend, Matt (Mark Ruffalo), now a professional photographer living in Greenwich Village. Unfortunately, Matt and Jenna didn’t remain friends after junior high, but he’s willing now to forgive Jenna if she’s sincere about rectifying her wayward behavior.

Not surprisingly, Matt was unhappy to have been abandoned by his best friend after that fateful birthday party. At first, he’s wary of Jenna’s sudden reversion to the person he once knew, but had long since lost. Romance blossoms, of course, tentatively in the initial stage, because as these things go, Matt has moved on by becoming engaged. For her part, Jenna has feelings for Matt that she has long repressed. The outcome of this romance is hardly shocking, mostly because Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo share a wonderful chemistry that is tenderly affectionate.

“13 Going on 30” goes for laughs in a big way, thanks to the irresistible Jennifer Garner’s innate goofiness and infectious charm. Sure, much of the plot is predictable, but that matters little when the pleasant outcome is a feel good comedy that is so energetic and exuberant.

MAN ON FIRE (Rated R) - There’s a warning in filmmaking that an actor should never share a starring role with a child or an animal. Of course, if you’re a really good actor, like Denzel Washington, you probably have little reason to fear being upstaged. “Man on Fire” allows its titular character, the very hot Denzel Washington, to project the sort of enigmatic person who acquires a new dimension when confronted with the task of being a bodyguard for precocious 9 year-old Dakota Fanning. This action-thriller generates much of its heat from the setting of the corrupt world of organized kidnappings that have become a way of life in troubled Mexico City. Yet, the most appealing part of this film is the genuine bond that is formed between a veteran star and child actor.

Washington’s burned-out John Creasy is a shadowy former government operative who has assassinated so many enemies that he has given up on life. A visit across the border to his old compatriot Rayburn (Christopher Walken) leads him to a new assignment in Mexico City as bodyguard for young schoolgirl Pita Ramos (Dakota Fanning), daughter of Mexican industrialist Samuel Ramos (Marc Anthony) and his American wife Lisa (Radha Mitchell). An aimless alcoholic on an emotional roller-coaster ride, Creasy shows little interest in his new assignment, but he needs something to do while he stays clear of clandestine operations. At first, Creasy is uneasy with his gifted charge, especially because she pesters him with endless questions about his mysterious life. Slowly, Pita chips away as his impenetrable façade, and a relationship is formed when Creasy willingly undertakes the task of becoming her coach for an upcoming swimming competition.

Most importantly, Pita manages to put a smile back on Creasy’s face, but the euphoria of this emotional breakthrough is soon disrupted by an ambush orchestrated by corrupt cops and vicious bandits. That Pita is placed in danger is hardly a surprise, since this is what you expect. The exchange of ransom money goes horribly awry when another band of crooks interferes with the drop, making off with the loot money before Pita is released. Recovering from life-threatening wounds, Creasy becomes seriously agitated that local law enforcement is inept or corrupt.

Back on his feet, Creasy vows to kill anyone involved in or profiting from the kidnapping. He’s virtually as unstoppable as Schwarzenegger’s Terminator. The revenge element kicks in with a vengeance, with Creasy embittered by the involvement of crooked Mexican cops and organized crime bosses. The picture of corruption in Mexico City is so unremittingly bleak that it’s a wonder he finds anyone to trust. Aside from advice from his old buddy Rayburn, Creasy comes across crusading journalist Mariana (Rachel Ticotin), who’s anxious to expose the truth behind kidnappings and finds Creasy willing to do some of the dirty work. She hooks him up with the only honest cop, Manzano (Giancarlo Giannini), a weary veteran of organized crime battles, whose interest in the case seems motivated by prospective romance.

Unencumbered by bureaucratic niceties, Creasy utilizes his special skills for a brutal assault on the suspected plotters in the dark underworld. His methods are unorthodox and brutal, as he applies some gruesome torture to some of the thugs, eliciting information that leads to higher-ups and dishonest officials. It’s a form of vigilante justice that Charles Bronson once applied to muggers on New York subways, except that Creasy’s techniques are even more vicious and effective.

Fascinating character development, gritty insights into the underbelly of criminal enterprises and moody reflections on the tense Mexican cultural and social landscape are powerful combinations for a stylish action thriller. “Man on Fire,” burning with action and sizzling with intensity, vividly captures the dark vision of crime and corruption run amok. The effective performance of Denzel Washington brings an inviting human dimension to a world of brutality and deceit.

SLAPSTICK NOT A DRAG ON “CONNIE AND CARLA”
A Film Review by Tim Riley

CONNIE AND CARLA (Rated PG-13) - The antics of Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon as two musicians in drag hiding from the Chicago mob in “Some Like It Hot” is now fairly dated comic material. That’s not a reason to forego putting a new twist on the concept in “Connie and Carla,” and consider as well that Julie Andrews had a nice turn pretending to be a man in drag. Sometimes the tried-and-true stuff works, as it does here in “Connie and Carla,” a likable story about two female singers belting out tunes at a Chicago airport lounge for unappreciative travelers. These girls find their stride when forced to disguise themselves as female impersonators, emerging with brand new popularity while crooning in a gay cabaret. What makes “Connie and Carla” plenty of fun is that the passion of these women to succeed in show business is infectious.

Connie (Nia Vardalos) and Carla (Toni Collette), small-town girls dreaming of stardom, have been entertainers since they bored classmates in grade school with renditions of Broadway musicals. As adults, their careers have not exactly found liftoff, even as they sing and dance in a lounge so close to airport runways. Their boyfriends are the beer-swilling types unfamiliar with the musical theatre. Audience members for their act, not surprisingly, have the ennui of passengers stranded at the airport. Ever hopeful of discovery, the girls lose their only supporter when the lounge boss ends up on the wrong end of a criminal deal. Unfortunately, the girls witness the mob hit, forcing a quick exit from town.

Connie and Carla pack their dreams as well as extensive collection of wigs and costumes into a battered old station wagon. Convinced the killers will never look for them in a city without dinner theater, they head for Los Angeles. Meanwhile, the vindictive mob boss Rudy (Robert John Burke) dispatches a Russian thug to race all over the East Coast and Florida in search of dinner theaters where the girls may be hiding out. A funny subplot finds the thug growing increasingly fascinated and entertained with Broadway show tunes as he starts singing along with senior citizens in venues everywhere.

Taking up residence in West Hollywood, the girls are apparently unaware they’ve landed in the capital of Southern California’s gay culture. They are even shocked to find themselves in a nightclub that features drag queens performing musical numbers. They quickly realize that they are better singers than the female impersonators on stage, and decide that they best thing to do is to dress up as men pretending to be women in drag. Their transformation into drag queens is hilarious, knowing that their female attributes have to be disguised and that their makeup has to make them appear masculine.

Connie and Carla become a big hit at the neighborhood bar, and in no time start to acquire notoriety on the local scene. Things get more amusing when they have to hold up their deception even among their gay neighbors, most of whom seem anxious to get into show business and become a part of their nightclub routine. Bartender Robert (Stephen Spinella), who prefers to be called Peaches, is desperate for his chance to perform musical numbers. He becomes a pivotal part of another subplot, one involving his straight brother Jeff (David Duchovny).

Keeping a secret of her identity becomes a real drag for Connie when she meets Jeff outside the apartment building. As square as the financial adviser he is, Jeff has trouble coming to terms with his cross-dressing sibling, but still he tentatively struggles to accept him. Connie proves sympathetic and helpful, but she has to struggle over the attraction she feels for Jeff. While Jeff has no resemblance to the Marilyn Monroe character of “Some Like It Hot,” there is little doubt in anyone’s mind that a resolution to the romantic dilemma is at hand.

The slapstick fun of “Connie and Carla” is that Vardalos and Collette have to maintain the charade of being men impersonating women. Certainly there are many amusing situations which threaten exposure, so to speak. For the most part, the movie plays as a sweet romantic comedy, where the jokes are unlikely to be offensive to gays or straights. “Connie and Carla” is a cheeky pleasure that brings smiles all around.

“MEAN GIRLS,” “ENVY” AND “LAWS” ATTRACT MANY LAUGHS
A Film Review by Tim Riley

MEAN GIRLS (Rated PG-13) - Driven by chilling social commentary as well as outright comedy, “Mean Girls” explores the psychological warfare rampant in the narrow confines of the high school jungle. The movie aims for a comedic twist on Rosalind Wiseman’s bestseller, “Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends and Other Realities of Adolescence.” The nasty phenomenon of the power structure inhabited by teen girls gets a wickedly funny makeover from a script written by Tina Fey, head writer for “Saturday Night Live” as well as co-anchor of its “Weekend Update” segment. “Mean Girls,” more than just funny, is a topical navigation through high school hierarchies.

Nothing scrambles the established social structure so much as the sudden arrival of an outsider. The stranger is Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan), a cultural blank slate when she first sets foot on the grounds of a suburban Chicago high school. Raised in the African bush country by her zoologist parents, Cady has been home-schooled her whole life, and her social interaction was mainly surviving animals in the wild. Public high school is a far more treacherous jungle, where the nastiest species of all is the Queen Bee, who at the North Shore High School is the calculating Regina George (Rachel McAdams).

Her sidekicks, insecure Gretchen (Lacey Chabert) and dumb Karen (Amanda Seyfried), are only too eager to be part of the trio named the Plastics. A social loner, Cady makes quick friends with art freaks and witty social outcasts Janis (Lizzy Caplan) and Damian (Daniel Franzese). They see Cady as a possible kindred spirit, and yet Cady, attractive and vivacious, does not go unnoticed by the Plastics. With a savvy taste for intrigue, Cady gets closer to Regina if only to dethrone her from her exalted status. But complications to this game become more evident when Cady falls for Regina’s ex-boyfriend Aaron (Jonathan Bennett), a popular athlete.

Before long, Cady has artfully infiltrated the upper echelons of the social structure, to the point that her personality takes a decided shift as a new queen of mean. Her acquired skills in game-playing begin to alienate her outcast friends, and her school work suffers to the point that math teacher Ms. Norbury (Tina Fey) is visibly distressed. Matters only get worse when pranks turn the school into a battleground that practically causes a meltdown for droll school principal Mr. Duvall (Tim Meadows).
Wickedly funny with its biting dialogue, “Mean Girls” is devastating in its social commentary. Lindsay Lohan is just perfect as the wide-eyed innocent transformed into the knowing insider, all the while retaining her comic timing. “Mean Girls,” while fitting in with other movies about girls behaving badly, softens its sharp edges near the end, mainly to conclude on a pleasant note.

ENVY (Rated PG-13) - An offbeat comedy that may lack universal appeal, “Envy” does capture the comic potential of the destructive force of one of the seven deadly sins. Jack Black and Ben Stiller seem so right as the mismatched friends and neighbors who find their solid relationship tripped up by an outrageous proposition. For some, “Envy” may be unsettling, and for others, it could as cockeyed as the inventions proposed by Black’s irrepressible schemer. “Envy” is a gambler’s comedy, taking chances with the unusual.

Stiller’s Tim Dingman and Black’s Nick Vanderpark are two men on divergent paths, even though they live across the street from each other on a nondescript San Fernando Valley cul-de-sac. Living a rather mundane existence, with a wife and two kids, Tim and Nick work dull jobs at a sandpaper factory. The two share the daily commute in Tim’s aging sedan. At work, Tim sees getting a private office as the fast track to success. But Nick is consumed with coming up with inventions that will bring sudden wealth.

One dreary day, Nick proposes a harebrained scheme to make a spray that literally makes dog poop evaporate into thin air. This product he decides to call Va-poo-rizer, and while Tim decides to pass on a modest investment in this ridiculous idea, Nick hits the jackpot. Not wanting to move away from his buddy, Nick converts his tract home into a huge mansion, complete with a bowling alley, carousel, and archery range. Tim is constantly badgered by his wife (Rachel Weisz) for passing on a chance at riches. Yet Nick remains blissfully unaware of the envy gnawing at his best friend.

Ben Stiller is terrific at building a slow burn, while Jack Black’s expansive character is always helpful to a comedy. These comic abilities make both actors effective in their respective roles. Tim’s envy might have burned itself out where it not for an oddball stranger, who calls himself J-Man (Christopher Walken), fueling the fire. As the mysterious drifter, J-Man takes it upon himself to spring Tim from his misery, only to cause situations to careen wildly out of control.

Not flawlessly executed, “Envy” nevertheless has a quirky, loopy and eccentric charm, resulting in a wildly offbeat comedy.

LAWS OF ATTRACTION (Rated PG-13) - As a romantic screwball comedy, "Laws of Attraction” intends to conjure up the image of an old Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn classic. That may be an impossible mission when a rumpled James Bond is playing the role of divorce attorney. Okay, make that Pierce Brosnan, turning his charisma down a notch for a lawyer willing to shift appearances as the occasion demands. The opposite of Brosnan, and the object of attraction, is Julianne Moore, another divorce attorney eager to watch wits. It sounds like a recipe for a romantic comedy driven by banter and scathing dialogue.

Moore’s Audrey Woods, nagged by her stylish mother (Frances Fisher) to get married, is a partner in an upscale Manhattan law firm. Her path to success in the courtroom is soon put to the test by the arrival of Brosnan’s Daniel Rafferty, substitute counsel for a messy divorce case in which Audrey assumes she has the upper hand. Cagey as a fox, the unkempt Daniel is the master of the sneak attack, winning cases by the seat of his pants.

In short order, Daniel and Audrey becoming competing divorce lawyers in a number of trials which soon attract media attention. The romance is awkward at first, fueled by too many cocktails after a dinner date following a courtroom battle. But Daniel uses the sleepover to his advantage in court the next day, and so full-scale war is declared. The only way for Audrey to battle Daniel is to obtain the edge in a new legal tussle, and that means there must be a high-profile divorce case.

A nasty divorce is brewing between two famous clients, fashion designer Serena (Parker Posey) and bad-boy rocker Thorne Jamison (Michael Sheen). Serena turns down Audrey’s dignified strategy and settles for Daniel’s penchant of going for the jugular. Unable to resist a challenge, Audrey, probably against her better judgment, signs on with the punk musician. The bone of contention is a fabulous castle in Ireland, so both Daniel and Audrey venture over to the Emerald Isle at the same time in order to secure depositions from the staff.

The lure of Ireland is overpowering, especially after a night in local pub during a festival, where excessive drinking is mandatory. This time, Audrey and Daniel wake up the next morning, only to discover they have been married in a civil ceremony. Upon their return to New York, the media glare is more intense than tabloid concentration on the affairs of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. Well, you can see where this is going.

Indeed, “Laws of Attraction” may be formulaic romantic comedy, but Pierce Brosnan and Julianne Moore do their best to put enough snap in the dialogue to make it all fun.

LIFTING “THE ALAMO” BATTLECRY; RISKY FUN FOR “GIRL”
A Film Review by Tim Riley

THE ALAMO (Rated PG-13) - Movies that present themselves as accurate reflections of pivotal characters in historical events are suspect in many respects. For one thing, historians are forever churning new facts to separate reality from mythology. For another, movies create dialogue for their own purposes. This time around, “The Alamo” is not the gung-ho version of the old John Wayne movie. The filmmakers wanted to convey that the heroic defenders of the Alamo had their flaws, thus making them more than just one-dimensional action figures.

Just about everybody knows that one of the most momentous battles in American history involved fewer than 200 men holding the fort in Texas for 13 days against thousands of Mexican soldiers led by General Santa Anna. Among the American heroes fighting to the death at the Alamo was Tennessee congressman-turned-frontiersman Davy Crockett. Most of us remembering Fess Parker in the role of the adventurer wearing a coonskin cap may be startled to see Billy Bob Thornton as Davy Crockett. While this new version of “The Alamo” seeks more character study of the American underdogs, you have to wonder if today’s audience is ready for anything more than the comic book action.

There’s no question that the events at the Alamo changed the course of American history. The backdrop to the epic battle in the spring of 1836 is the bickering over the direction of the Texas Revolution. The commander of the Texas army, General Sam Houston (Dennis Quaid), is an imposing figure crafty enough to use “Remember the Alamo” as the rallying cry to defeat Santa Anna at the crucial Battle of San Jacinto. This is, of course, interesting because Houston had questioned the wisdom of maintaining the garrison at the Alamo and informed his officers to abandon the mission, feeling it was impossible to defend against Santa Anna’s formidable forces.

Thus it came to be that a young, inexperienced Alabama soldier and lawyer named William Barret Travis (Patrick Wilson) took command of the post. Yet, Lt. Col. Travis was so green that he found himself wrangling with Col. James Bowie (Jason Patric) for the right to lead the troops. A notorious adventurer and treasure hunter, militia leader Bowie was colorful for carrying a knife large enough to match his ego. Suffering from a terminal disease that had him hacking most of the time, Bowie ultimately could not supplant his nemesis Travis even if he was the natural leader.

Overshadowing everyone, naturally, is Billy Bob Thornton’s Crockett, a legendary figure from the hills of Tennessee whose reputation indicated he would wrestle an alligator and whip his weight in wildcats. There’s more to Crockett than being a simple frontiersman, since he was also a successful politician. Thornton is right for the part of keeping Crockett folksy enough that his superhuman reputation does not eclipse his beguiling charisma.

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